Come join us, because we think that:
“People are born free to become our serving slaves, upon their own will. We give our servants loads of money – that they’ll probably spend on junk food during serving us, since they will never see their homes again. We make sure to take their lives away by YES giving them all the vacations they need, yet give them some infinite task in a severely tight deadline to finish. So we guarantee that the employee gets also either very busy during his/her days off, or least, take over their minds: “Did I do a good job, what if I got sacked? etc”
Our benefits are endless but on papers. An employee will take loads of incentives, profit shares, etc – on papers too, because they will take only 25% of their money, and by the end of the year, if they’re good and obeying, and didn’t leave us to work for a competitor, well… We might consider giving them a 20% of the remaining 75%. The rest will be saved – because we care about the well being of our employees – until they’re 60 with no reason at all to live. So the money returns back to us.
When you work in a Multinational you are either one of two; you understand our ideology well and decide to not think much about work, enjoy your time and have nice vacations putting your mind completely off work. Well, in this case we’re sorry to inform you that you’ll live and die on the same desk you started on. And You shall remain unliberated form your sins.
Or, the dedicated, fully devoted slave, by this we guarantee you 15, 20, 40 years flying in the speed of light right infront of your eyes with nothing done to yourself – only great accomplishments to our name. But you’ll die great – everyone in the company knows you well!!! – and you’ll be taking the remaining 75% of your money. Plus, you will surely be liberated from all your sins, that you initially didnt have time throughout your whole life to do them. :)
We hope you join us soon. We need you for our future expansion strategy!”
(That is why I will NEVER join a Multinational again in my life, unless I own it and believe in Human Rights, well, I do!)