A Royal Wedding?

“I have been watching Cinderella everyday before I go to bed for all my life as a kid, and eventually I don’t get to be the bride at the Royal Wedding! How more unfair can that be?”

Okay girls, time to wake up! Here are 10 reasons why you stand no chance for a Royal Wedding:

1- It only happens to ONE girl every THIRTY years. Dee in 1981, Kate in 2011. Hard Luck!

2- You haven’t been to St Andrews University in Fife, Scotland in 2001 all the way to 2005. Or you have been, but you were a goof enough not to distract the Prince’s attention!

3-  Egypt is not a Kingdom for God’s sake! The only way to get a Prince here in Egypt is by bringing back King Fouad II to Royalty, then begin on stalking his son! That is if he is still single! (As if him being single IS the big deal!) That is if he has a Son! Does he?!

4- We don’t have a Westminister Cathedral! أخركو جامع الشرطة أو كتدرائية العباسية!

5-  French-kissing, twice, in a balcony, in front of hundreds of thousands won’t be really the best thing to do here, especially if Sa3aydas are among the attendees! Uh Oh…

6- A 30,000 Sterlings (approx. 300 000 Egyptian Pounds) dress wouldn’t be the best option here nowadays for a public wedding, not with all the current economic crisis. Would be a bit awkward to appear in public with a dress like that, while many are under some serious debts. Or else you’re a ruthless Mubarak descendant (yuck!). So you’re eventually resorting to the nice and handy Pronovias, that wouldn’t make you royal! Sorry!

7- Most Egyptians wake up pretty late on holidays (your Royal Wedding will definitely be a paid holiday, right?). A wedding that starts at 9 am wouldn’t really bring much audience to the streets! So you’ll probably be waving to the ad banners on both sides of the road!

8-  Prince Harry is most probably taken. Or not. Maybe he’ll break the rules by getting married so we’ll have two royal weddings in thirty years instead of one. It still won’t be you!

9- The total number of single Princes in the world is what, ten? twenty? The world population is six billion. If women occupy half of that number, I’m sorry to announce that you definitely stand no chance in marrying a Prince!

10- If you are still expecting the ordinary Egyptian Zaffa Domyati, Zaghareet, Buffet, Ra2asa, DJ in your Royal Wedding; I offer you to reconsider, because this is not called Royal. On the other hand, compare all of them to the ‘ordinary’ boring royal wedding… I definitely go for the Egyptian Fara7!

So stop pissing me off with your daydreaming about having a Royal Wedding, this happens to be the most boring event that can happen to a Bride! Add to that millions of people judging! Gosh, it already annoys a bride how many old ladies are side chatting about her dress and make-up! Imagine if all people, all cultures, all news networks, all fashion houses, all paparazzi, all, all, all are putting you under the spotlight on that VERY special day of yours? That would be hell! I want to have that ordinary – close friends & families only – type of wedding, where we all go crazy from dusk till next morning, dancing our butts out, enjoying our zaffa, zaghareet, and ra2asa type of wedding rituals!

To sum up my words, all what matters is that you ‘Enjoy Your Love!’ – No one needs a Royal Wedding to make that happen! :)

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